tillsdoppelganger

At long last, I have just typed up part 19 of The Messers, and sent to those of you who gave me their email. ('andytheassfairy' bounced back, so if you're out there, let me know if you have a different address.) Send me a note if you wanted to see it, and did not receive it. :)

Hi! You might have noticed I have deleted the chapters of The Messers I have posted over the last couple years. I do have good reason for doing this, but I really don't want to get into it. Suffice to say I just want to keep it for a select audience. ;) But, The Messers still exists, and I WILL complete it, maybe be the end of this year. :) So, anyone who I have not already been in contact with, who would like me to send you new chapters, or any of the previous ones, feel free to send me a note with your email address. :)

This is a very hard thing for me to write, but after much soul-searching, I have decided to stop posting The Messers here. Please message me if you'd like me to explain further. I will still be here, cause I love all ya'lls work- it's just I have some very specific reasons for not making my work public anymore.

Rammstein's Zwölf Tage von Weinachten! (I know most of the lines don't fit the meter-poetry just ain't my forte.) All: On the first day of Christmas, Pilgrim gave to me... Till: Benzin and a blazing roadie! All:2nd day: Olli: Two crates of Jager... All: 3rd day: Richard: Three gallons of black nail polish... All: 4th day: Doom: Ursula von der Leyen's head on a platter… All: 5th day: Flake: An improved accident insurance plan, but ESPECIALLY for me…. All: 6th day: Paul: Six dildos-in-a-special-limited-edition-box-set. All: 7th day: Richard: Seven groupies groping… All: 8th day: Flake: Eight Segways rolling…

Santa Till! Scene: Till is rehearsing his role as Father Christmas for the Pilgrim holiday party (which he agreed to only after being given unlimited access to the bar that night.) He wears a rather seedy Santa suit, a la 'Bad Santa', with the beard half hanging off and the coat unbuttoned to reveal his un-Santa-like chest hair. He is polishing off the last of many bottles of Jager, and Doom is giving him some much-needed lessons in being 'jolly': Doom:Okay, Till, we are out of Jager, you're actually [i]smiling[/i], so let's do this. Till:*Hic* Okaaay dokey... Ummm....uhhh...line-? Doom: 'Ho'. Till:[i] Excuse [/i]me...? Doom: That's th

Rammies On A Plane (The inside of a plane. Rammstein's jet is down for repairs, so they must take a commercial flight-in coach, as 1st class was unavailable. There are numerous small children running amok, and while the Rammies do love children, there are limits…) Boy #1 (Sitting next to Doom): What's your name? Doom: Christoph. Boy #1: What's your name? Doom: …Christoph. Boy #1: What's your name? Doom: Christoph! (This continues for some time. Olli is engaged in a staring contest with a 2-year old looking over the seat in front of him. For the past 45 minutes. And neither is winning.) Boy #2 (Staring at Till, who has man

R+ In Quebec: Dejeuner. (The Rammies are seated at an outdoor café in Quebec City.) Olli (Reading menu): What is it with Quebec and smoked meat? Everywhere we go, it's smoked meat. Paul (Pouring another shot from the 23 bottles of Jager on the table): -Sounds like a pretty apt description of Richard's lungs to me. Richard (Smoking): Oh, funny, funny boy- *HACK COUGH KHRRRRRR- SPIT* Doom (Making disgusted face): Well, there goes my appetite… Paul: Oh, come on Doom, I hear their oysters are excellent... (Doom rolls eyes, tosses menu away. ) Till (Drinking straight from bottle of Jager): Just order, already. I want to go fish

Li'l Rammstein Babies, Part 2: Adventures In Babysitting. (Scene: some months after meeting Baby Olli, who is now in the crawling stage. The Lindemann's living room. They are not having a good day.) Doomy: Till! Richie's looking at me! Richie: Paul! Doomy got into the stwudel! Flocka (In front of the TV): You stupidheads shut up! Cartoons are on! Olli: Waaaaaaa!!!!! Till: Richie! Stop looking at Doom! Paul: Doom! Stay out of the strudel! Olli: Waaaaaaa!!! Till: Shh,Olli, shhh...where's your binkie? Who took Olli's binkie?!? Richie: Flocka dwopped it in the toilet! Flocka: Tattletale! (*Punch*) Richie: Waaaaaaa!!! Paul: Flocka!